Graduation Day

In which a middle-aged man achieves a young man's dream

Today I graduate from UCO with a Bachelor of Arts in English-Creative Writing.

A little over 4 years. A lifelong dream. Countless hours. A global pandemic. But I made it.

The picture above is taken in the room where I spent the majority of my time during spring and summer 2020, at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. The whole world felt as if it were going crazy then, and I did, too. I stared at that painting on the counter behind me many times and didn't know how I'd go on.

I'm an introvert, but I thrive on in-class interactions, and I wondered often if I'd made a horrible mistake going back to school at age 40. Especially since my career pivot was to writing. ‘How on earth will I spend hours alone in a room creating a novel?’ ran through my head often.

Don't get me wrong. Many people lost loved ones during COVID. Many are not as privileged as I've been to attend university (even if I was 20 years late to the party, LOL). But I seriously thought I might lose my mind sitting in that chair. 

It seems fitting to commemorate my time in school with a picture* here, where it was hardest. 

It takes a team

My point is not to pat myself on the back. My point is not that COVID was crazy (what even WAS that?!) My point is that we can all do hard things, even when we think we can't, as long as we have others in our corner.

It takes a team to pull off anything worthwhile. Truly. So here come the well -deserved thank-you’s:

First, to my wife, Holly: thank you from the bottom of my heart. You've helped me fulfill two dreams at once with this degree. Your sacrifices have been all sizes (putting little girls to bed by yourself while I was in class; supporting us financially while I went back to school). But it was your belief in me most of all that kept me going during those darkest days of COVID.

Mental Health

Secondly, to my therapist. It's fitting that my graduation is in May, which also happens to be National Mental Health Awareness Month. My counselor walked through some deep crap with me during my time at school, and he continues to be a lifeline of support when things go sideways. I encourage you to try therapy even if you don't see how it can benefit you: I don't know if I'd have survived had it not been for that help. I half-jokingly call therapy "preventive maintenance." But it's not really a joke; it’s the truth.

Third, to my two beautiful daughters: I know you didn't always understand why Dad was studying so much, and you didn't get why I wanted to write books at first. Now, I think you're beginning to understand a little. Thank you for your patience as our family adjusted to a new normal. I hope that you see the value of following your dream and working hard to make it happen as you grow up. I can't wait to see what wonderfully surprising humans you turn into. I love you both so much.

Friends and family: you know who you are. I've laughed with some of you, ugly-cried with others, and generally leaned on you all in some way. 

Oscar Speech

Most of all, I have to thank God. It may sound like a tired, tacked-on Oscar-speech cliché, but I truly believe there is a power behind this universe that takes my (and our) puny efforts and magnifies them into something wondrous. It ain't because of me, is all I'm saying. :)

Cheers and health to all of you, no matter where you are on this journey. If it's good right now, celebrate. If it isn't, I leave you with this wisdom I found on the Internets a few weeks back: 

"Shoutout to people working on things they don't mention out loud. You're doing great. Keep going."

*Thanks a million to Charlie Neuenschwander Photography for the portrait. If you're needing photography, he's your man.

And I did take a normal senior portrait. Since I was already there. :)